Retirement time has arrived now so I’ve chucked the alarm clock away

I’m now called a lady of leisure not pleasure I’m happy to say.

I can now do those things I once dreamt of like lying in bed very late,

But my bladder seems older then I am and insists that there’s no time to wait!

I now get to ride all the bus’s half price with my pensioner’s card,

I thought they won’t believe I am sixty, but they did and I found that quite hard.

Prescriptions from now on are freebies, but my doctor I’d rather not see

Its not that I don’t really like him I’d just rather stay healthy old me.

I do all my shopping at mid week (the families can shop at weekends)

I’d rather stay home in my garden ‘cos some kids drive me right round the bend

I know that I once was a child, in fact I had kids of my own,

But at weekends I stay in my garden and chat to my cat and my gnome.

Now I’ve been out and bought a computer, I don’t want my poor brain to rust

So the housework’s gone out of the window and the house is all choked up with dust!

But I’m getting quite good on the keyboard and the mouse I have under control

I hope pretty soon to be surfing, at least that’s my ultimate goal.

I can go up the Downs when I want to, with my metal detector in hand

I’m hoping to find buried treasure but will settle for just a few "grand".

hot days on the beach you will find me, a dipping my toes in the sea